Get Back Your Boyfriend By Avoiding These Mistakes

The seconds seem to have dragged by ever since your ex-boyfriend told you he was leaving. You've cried all the tears you had and then some. You've gone through two (okay four) pints of chocolate ice cream and drown your sorrows in a dozen margaritas. Now that you're tired of your own pity party, it's time to do something about it.

Sitting around by the phone isn't accomplishing anything - especially if you've been sending your ex-boyfriend texts every five minutes. You need to get up and get moving but before you make a critical error in judgment you have to decide which road to take. Many roads have been tried by many women, but not all of them work out. If you want to give yourself the best possible shot to get him back, you need to know which paths to explore - and which ones to avoid completely.

After the Breakup

Your breakup has taken over every aspect of your life. You're consumed with thoughts, plans and ideas that may help you get your ex-boyfriend back but most of them end up discarded before you can ever put them into motion. In the meantime, you feel like doing anything may be better than doing nothing. If you make the wrong choices you know that your chances could disappear for good. That's why trying to stay calm is one of the hardest but best moves you can make.

You need to exercise caution. Before you jump the gun and do the first thing that comes to mind, realize the reality. If you make a mistake because of the emotional nature of your situation, you could end up jeopardizing any chance you have of getting him back. That's easier said than done. What you do now can set the tone for the whole scenario, and you don't want to make the situation worse. A lot of the typically followed advice out there will actually work against you, so you want to consider the alternatives before you decide on anything.

Your ex-boyfriend has probably been hard to find following the breakup. He's not answering his phone or returning your texts. His Facebook has probably been strangely silent - at least where you're concerned. Don't worry; it's not time to panic. Going into a tailspin isn't going to do anything to improve your position. Your ex ended the relationship for a reason and right now he feels justified in his decision. He's taking space for the same reason. The best thing you can do for both of you is to let him have it. Giving him some space and time doesn't mean he's just going to move on without you - far from it. It's actually doing you a favor as well and giving you some time to regroup and get your plan situated before putting it into action.

Quick solutions may not always be the best solutions, but there are certain things that can be done to make the process as effective as possible without blowing your shot.

If you're still allowing him to see how broken-up and upset you are about the end of your relationship, you could be playing right into his hands. Think about it - he doesn't see that you impose a risk and right now he hasn't really lost anything at all. He knows that he has you waiting in the wings in case he may change his mind. That means that he's able to fully enjoy his single life without having to face the breakup completely. You're giving him the power to continue by giving him exactly what he wants - a sense of comfort due to your emotions.

Fan the Flame - Get that Initial Spark Back

Reigniting that fire isn't as complicated as it seems. The whole process relies on two key facts.

1) Unless your ex-boyfriend misses you, he's not going to be open to the possibility of restarting your romance

2) It's impossible to miss someone who is always around

That's why staying away from your ex for a while is an essential piece of the puzzle. This is in essence your side of leaving the relationship behind you. While you didn't make the decision to end things, you can control how you behave now. Avoid showing your ex that you still want him by using every opportunity you can find to talk to him about getting back together. Don't push him or pressure him. You want him to see that you're doing fine on your own. Maybe he'll even start to think that you agree with the breakup and that it's worked out in your favor.

What if you weren't as upset by the breakup as you led him to believe? What if you weren't happy with the way things were either? What if the breakup was simply an easy way out for you and he wasn't as important to you as he thought? He's going to start driving himself crazy with questions and curiosities that are not easily answered. His source of information into your world has been snatched away before he realized how much he was relying on it. He's going to start to doubt the entire scenario - and that means that he's going to start questioning his decision to leave in the first place.

Once those questions take hold, you can expect some quick and decisive actions on his part. He's going to realize that he never intended to lose you for good. He was counting on the fact that you'd stick around and he could move on at his own pace. You've taken things up a dozen notches and he's not as in control as he wanted to believe. You're in essence bringing his doubts to life in a very real, very frightening way. He's going to want to correct his mistakes as quickly and effectively as possible.

His Feelings for You are Being Reignited

Not only are all those feelings coming back up, but they never really left. Your ex is still filled with emotional connections that bond him to you, just like your feelings for him haven't faded. Breakups don't break all of these ties that developed over time. In some instances, they actually make them stronger.

These underlying emotions are a perfect opportunity for you to become a part of his current reality. You can work behind the scenes and bring some shared memories and positive connections to the forefront of his mind and make him realize how good your relationship really was. Learning to work subtly here is your best bet. That way he'll come to realize that he misses you - and getting back together will be his idea - not yours.

In order to do this in a positive manner, you need to use your intelligence to its fullest potential. This means that you can't throw yourself into the first option that becomes available. Think things through first. You don't want to risk losing it all on a misfired plan of action.

Your Next Steps

First off you need to get him to miss you. Without doing this he will not feel any need to get back together with you. You also have to make sure that you are not guilty of making these break up mistakes that most women commit. They send your ex boyfriend running off in the opposite direction and actually make him a little disgusted with you.

After that, you will need to learn how to make him want you again. Creating desire and mystery are essential elements of getting him back, so get these techniques right. You may also be the tiniest bit curious about how he feels about you after the break up. So check out the signs he still loves you before you go running off and chasing someone who has already moved on.

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/get-back-your-boyfriend-by-avoiding-these-mistakes

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